I have been very depressed over the last few months. I’m not getting along with the people at work and all my usual projects have become uninteresting. I think it’s time to take a long walk off into the wilderness.
I often have more then one project in the works. And, my projects all have two part that keep me interested. The first is they are things I’d like to do. The second is they are project I can share with others. If no one else is interested in my project they often don’t last long. Even though I don’t think of my self as a people person, I do have a strong desire to be accepted and usefull to the people I’m around.
Another thing depressing me is my pyhsical condission. Health problems have plagged me over the last few years and I havn’t taken care of them. Last month I took the dreaded ten year pyhsical. Three hours in the doctors office. Never a plessent experence and the resultes where nothing unexpected. Lose weight and execerise. Me and 5 million other people.
I find my self thinking "nobody cares". A thought I used as a mantra fifteen years ago when I found my self in this same place. Thinking about it now, Its now "nobody cares" its "nobody else cares". I care.
There is only one thing, one place, I like to go and I don’t care if anyone comes along. I don’t even want anyone else to come along. I love the out doors, the Big Room, big skys where it’s just me and nature. So I’m planning places to go.
It’s going to take a long time to get where I want. Some of these place will take me three or four years to get to. I’ll take a journel on my trips and report it here.I know no one cares. But I feel better writting it down.