I even tell people I’m a duck. I try to ignore and forget the unkind things people say and without thinking. I like people. I like people a lot. I can see some good in everyone. And I treat people the way I would like to be treated. Still, some people say offal things to me some time. Still, by the next day, their bad words have rolled off my back (I’m a duck) and I’m bringing them bagels and cream cheese to lighten their day.
People have flaws. Its the flaws in the technology I work with that I find upsetting, depresses and frustrating. I would love to go to work each day and return home without a head full of worries. But I know to much.
If you look closely at a diamond you can very often find flaws. And, if you understand these flaws you can crack that diamond with a very small tap. I study every detail of the computers I use because I’m fascinated by technology. As a dyslexic with only a high school diploma its this fascination that has given me a great job. A job I love. I also lays before me every crack, every defect, every hole in the security of the systems I maintain.
As a good employee, I tell my managers and write reports about these flaws. My managers, like a young feonsa, don’t want to hear about the flaws in their multi million dollar diamond. They responded with denial. I try harder to help them understand how bad the problems are. My passion for the subject shows and they just call me crazy.
I think maybe, rather then a duck, I’d like to be a goose. I might like to wake up in a new world every morning, honk loudly at things that bother me and shit all over everything.